John Catrett III
As you travel along the path of your personal grief journey you might be experiencing a funky kind of experience like taking one step forward and two steps back. You might be saying: “I am in a bit of a funk! Today I am REALLY feeling how difficult the coping progression and healing process can be.”
The following quote underscores how the pain of any kind of loss and its disability may stretch or up-end your view of what is important in life, the things you should concentrate your thoughts and actions upon. “This life’s temporal lens distorts. The things of the moment are grossly magnified, and the things of eternity are blurred or diminished” ~Neal L. Maxwell (Endure, p. 26).
Any unwanted grief can not only distort one’s clarity but also intensify one’s sorrow. A horrendous grief happening can make you feel awful. Grief and sorrow are often accompanied with companions of confusion, despair, anger, hopelessness and anguish. No wonder you feel like your grief reconciliation road is in a funk. Overcoming grief and starting to heal is much more difficult than a casual walk down the lane on a sunny day.
Taking One Step Forward! “The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.” ~Chinese Proverb. Even a baby step can cause positive results. Small steps taken boldly can make a difference. Bold efforts, even tiny bold steps, are declarations of an inner attitude to move beyond your misery to a better place. Even baby steps, repeatedly taken, give internal empowerment to reinforce and support your actions.
Looking Inside! “Look well into thyself. There is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou will always look there” ~Marcus Aurelius (121-180). Within every person is empowerment undiscovered and dormant until called upon. Grief can make that call. At the height of your grief, you may feel the possible improbable. Deep inside of yourself, that well of empowerment, you can find the fortitude to continue and to survive the pain well. Arising from your bed of terrible grief and loss is possible. Awakening from awful sorrow and nurturing new hope and joy should be your creed.
Hope! Try to think of hope as an action word. Hope as a choice involves continuing to take bold steps forward. Hope always suggests to individuals, certainly to you, to look and dig deep internally for hidden, previously unused, empowerment. “As great scientists have said and as all children know, it is above all by the imagination that we achieve perception, and compassion, and hope” ~Ursula K. LeGuin. Hope suggests self-commitment so you will not falter when you experience detours on your healing path.
It can be quite challenging at times to experience these one-step forward and two steps back type of detours as you seek to stop grieving and continue healing. On your attempts to transform your grief and heal you will likely experience a grief funk more than once. Remember, that rising from an awful bed of sorrow to the nurturing oneself in hope and joy isn’t a casual walk down memory lane. This journey requires clarity of thought and a sincere desire to recover while gaining understanding of your grief and finding sustained purpose and peace in your life should be your goal and hope! The challenge is to be a survivor and overcomer of your loss. Transform yourself into a new, more whole person. New roots of hope and fortitude have to be given room to grow. Learning to reconcile your grief and find new peace and joy requires unqualified commitment and continued determination. It requires purpose, willpower and sustained resolve. This will break funkiness of the moment!