In The New Light
The Great Mousse Confiscation
Those who read this column or have followed my writings over the years know that I will, at times poke fun at things I think are…well stupid and posses little or no common sense. I feel that human nature is for most to accept circumstances in our lives without questioning too much. We are driven by deadlines, appointments, a feeling of avoiding confrontation and a belief that some things are just a certain way. We don’t like things to get hairy and don’t care for a hair being out of place. I, however, don’t mind a bad hair day now and then.
So while recently going through airport security, I got pulled out for something I assume to be construed as a suspicious item in my bag that the X-Ray tech saw. Although a tad bit of an annoyance, I knew there was nothing illegal in my bag. So I figured, Okay Officer Obie, knock yourself out! Find my weapons of mass destruction amid the deodorant, underwear and boxes of Cracker Jacks I had packed as a snack. Slap on them rubber gloves and give my bag a colonoscopy!
Prod away he did. Pilfering through my personal belongings like a mouse in a lunch box on the hunt for a Cheeto, he gave it a good visual look over and removed a few of my items. Not sure if it was the Cracker Jacks, chocolate covered peanuts or my toothbrush, but something must have caught the attention of Obie’s sniffer. The next thing I know he is running some surgical looking instrument through my bag with a cloth square on it. He then runs the cloth through a machine that looks like something out of a research laboratory for NASA. Not once. Not twice…but THREE times he did this! Each time getting a new little square cloth.
After he completed his noble task, he looks at me, I look at him; he sizes me up and I reciprocate. It felt a bit like I was in a spaghetti western wondering which one of us was going to draw first. He did! ” You’re good to go, but not with this,” he said. There in his hand was that weapon of mass control that I use to tame the wild hairs upon my head, my mousse!
He didn’t even offer to pay me for it! The nerve of some people. Dude, buy your own damn mousse, I thought. If you get a job in retail, you can even get an employee discount, my thought added. In all seriousness, though, I was intrigued why Obie took my mousse. I didn’t ask him because I have heard some horror stories about what happens to people who question “the man”, so I gave up the mousse without a fight. Instead, I thought I would just do some research on Google. Turns out people can use aerosol cans to create a flame if they have a means of fire such as a lighter or matches. I guess it’s a good thing they took my mousse because they didn’t seem to have a problem with the book of matches in plain sight that I placed in the tray for all to see…including the officer who was watching the items as they passed through the X-Ray machine. If I were a terrorist, though, what good would the matches have done me anyway without that pesky mousse? Safe be us from an attack…and from anyone having a good hair day on that flight!
As I mentioned earlier, it’s stupidity that I have a problem with and not common sense. So if I had had an Ak-47 in my bag or a pipe bomb and X-Ray flagged me and I told Obie that I was taking it as a souvenir, I would think Obie was an idiot if he bought that nonsense. But the mousse? I think that’s a bit out of the realm of common sense. However, anything that can create a flame inside the airplane cabin such as matches, that I get. I wouldn’t have given it a thought if they would have confiscated my matches. I also discovered during my Google search that TSA does confiscate matches and lighters, so why take my mousse at all even if they wouldn’t have miss to snag the fire sticks? Mousse is NOT a weapon. But let’s assume that it can be used as one. I can also hit you with my cell phone, stab you with my car keys, suffocate you with my socks, strangle you with my shoelaces, (seeing the lack of common sense yet?) beat you with my book or I could just start a fire with the matches they didn’t confiscate. These are all items I boarded the plane with or saw others who had them. The point to this is simply that 99 percent of people who board a plane want to get somewhere and not bring down a plane. And the one percent is not going to stop attempting to bring one down whether the government takes their personal possession or not. The act to commit atrocities is not in a can of mousse, a book of matches or a jar of breast milk. It’s in the hearts and minds of those who wish to carry them out. Where has the common sense gone? Do we outlaw gasoline cars if a terrorist blows up a gas station and pass laws that everyone must drive electric cars? What about malls? They hit a mall and then it becomes illegal to shop in one and everyone must shop at Walmart or Dollar General? Come on! Why do we allow such lunacy in our lives? How many of you would have spoken up if the government outlawed public schools after the Columbine massacre? Yes, actions needed to be taken to ensure safety in schools after the shooting, but only actions of common sense! This editorial is my way of speaking out and saying, hey dummy you have gone too far! The government can take anything it wishes if you let it by remaining silent! Obie may have my mousse, but I have the peace of mind of knowing that every single person who reads this might just tell the next Obie to get his own damn mousse because this is not the America that the Founding Fathers created and if they were here, they would shoot him for taking mousse that doesn’t belong to him! Have you ever thought why is it okay for the government to take your things without paying for them but it’s not okay for you take something you don’t pay? Maybe it’s because you let them.